Sex Talk - News

Body Function

A student at University of Oklahoma wants to know...

Can being in good physical condition increase your desire to have sex? Male, First-Year

Dr. Caron's Answer: There are many positive benefits to being in good physical condition. Feeling fit helps us feel better about a lot of things. We often feel better about ourselves when we feel we look our best. Being in good shape often leads to positive feelings about life; our desire for many things increases.

A student from Central Florida wants to know..... I have never seen anything like this before. My boyfriend has a curved penis, which makes sexual intercourse uncomfortable. We've tried different positions, but that hasn't helped. It's really curved! What should I do? Female, Senior

Dr. Caron's Response: Unlike women, who tend to have regular gyn exams where certain conditions are recognized and discussed, males are not so lucky. Has he ever been to see a family physician or urologist to discuss this? I would encourage him to do so. While some degree of curvature is perfectly normal, men with Peyronie's disease have excessive curvature that can make erections painful or make it difficult to enjoy intercourse. This rare condition is caused by buildup of fibrous tissue and calcium deposits in the penile shaft. Although some Peyronie's disease appears to clear up on their own, most require medical attention. Encourage him to talk to his family doctor for a referral to a urologist. Good luck.

A student from SF State wants to know..... What does it mean to have a "tipped" uterus? My doctor told me this and gave me no indication of what this might mean for me down the road. Female, Junior

Dr. Caron's Response: The uterus is held in the pelvic area by ligaments - sort of suspended in place. It is generally perpendicular to the vagina - tilting toward the bladder. However, in 1 in every 5 women, the uterus tilts back toward the rectum (hence the term "tipped"). So no need to worry. This poses no serious problems but may cause discomfort in some positions during intercourse. In the old days, they would tell women this could lead to difficulty in pregnancy (conceiving, carrying or delivering a baby) - but this has not proven to be the case. Although I should point out that some have suggested that rear-entry intercourse position may be more comfortable and may improve the chances of conception over the man-on-top intercourse position.

A student from the University of Maine wants to know.... What should the inside of your vagina look like? and why would a person have secretions running out of them? it turns to white stuff sometimes - is this normal? Female, Sophomore

Dr. Caron's Answer: The inside of the vagina resembles the inside of your mouth. It is warm, moist, and has folds of skin. Next time you have your gynecological exam (generally recommended when you turn 18 or when you become sexually active -whichever comes first), ask the nurse to offer you a mirror to take a look. In terms of the moisture and vaginal secretions you experience: yes, that is normal. It is mucus from the cervix and it changes throughout a woman's monthly cycle. If you monitor this closely, you will notice a marked change in the quantity and consistency of cervical mucus it changes from being white and sticky right after your menstrual period to clear and slippery like egg white for a few days - and then back to white and sticky just before your period. The easiest way to monitor your cervical mucus is to insert a finger high up into your vagina each day and note the color and consistency of your mucus. By the way, when the mucus is clear and slippery like egg white (usually only lasting a day or two), this is a signal that you have ovulated. This is part of the Natural Family Planning method of birth control, where you monitor cervical mucus, along with your basel body temperature, to more accurately determine the time of ovulation. By using this method, you know when to have intercourse if you want to become pregnant, and when to avoid unprotected intercourse if you do not want to be pregnant.

A student from Salem State wants to know.... How do I get a larger penis? I think most women look for that. Male, Senior

Dr. Caron's Answer: I am not aware of any exercise or surgery that truly works to increase a man's penis size. If I did know a way to increase a man's penis size, I would not be a college professor I would be a billionaire, since it appears so many men have anxieties about the size of their penis. Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld (author of The New Male Sexuality), says "penises come in a variety of shapes and sizes….and about the only thing most penises have in common is that they are the wrong size or shape as far as their owners are concerned." The average size of an unerect penis is 3-4 inches; the average size of an erect penis is 5-7 inches. Frequent intercourse or masturbation does not cause a penis to get larger. Penis size is not related to height, weight, or race. I realize there are a few men who are paying thousands of dollars each to have their penises made thicker by liposuction, however all the major medical associations have issued warnings about the safety of this type of procedure. Wait! Before you go searching the Internet for this type of service, please think about this: Most women say penis size is not important to them in a sexual relationship. They are more concerned about their male partner taking his time and his total response to her during sexual intercourse. The quality of the entire relationship (not the size of the penis) appears to be the most important factor in sexual enjoyment and satisfaction.

A female, first-year student from Triton College wants to know: How a girl can know when she's ovulating? And if the girl does not have an orgasm during sex, can she get pregnant even when she's ovulating?

Dr. Caron's Answer: In terms of your first question, it can be really difficult to know when a girl is ovulating. Many people say that ovulation takes place about 12-14 days before menstruation. That means you can figure it out "after-the-fact" so to speak. For example, if a woman has a 28-day cycle, she is thought to ovulate around the 14th day. But this clearly varies from girl to girl. To help determine more precisely when ovulation takes place, you may want to learn Natural Family Planning - in which you take your basal body temperature each day and record it on a chart, along with charting what your cervical mucous looks like, and the feel of your cervix. Over time, a girl will be able to determine her ovulation as that time when her temperature drops, her mucus looks like egg white, and her cervix feels soft. It takes a bit of practice and a few months to figure out -there are many good books that explain it in greater detail. In terms of the second question, a girl can get pregnant during intercourse if she is ovulating and there is semen ejaculated into/around the vagina. The sperm and egg could care less if you enjoy the act or not. So to answer your question: No, having an orgasm is not necessary for pregnancy.

Question from a student at Bowling Green: Which is better in a penis: length or width? Male, First-Year

Dr. Caron's Answer You may have heard the quote, "It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean." The vagina is quite adept at accommodating to penis size and many women actually prefer stimulation around the clitoris and vaginal opening to deep thrusting, which some women may find painful. Pleasant stimulation doesn't require a large penis (in width or length) and can be achieved by hand or mouth. The size of a man's penis seems to be more important in the locker room than in the bedroom.

Body Image

A student from the University of Maine wants to know...

Why are women made to feel unattractive if they are average-looking as opposed to model-looking? Female, First-Year

Dr. Caron's Answer: If by “average-looking” you mean the majority of women, then logically the majority must be attractive since they attract others and the human race continues. If only people who look like models were attractive, the birthrate would drop precipitously. Not all men look for the same characteristics, despite the messages from the media about the ideal female form. In fact, over time the ideal changes. I have a friend whose rosy gentle curves would make her an ideal in the 17th century. Relax and look for a guy whose ideal is not the media stereotype.

A student from Hofstra wants to know...

Why are men so into their penis size? It seems they are either bragging about it or unhappy about it! Female, Senior

Dr. Caron's Answer: Woody Allen once said that he was the only man he knew who suffered from penis envy. I think he was wrong. It's fairly common for men to worry about their penis size. Some people have suggested that since the growth of the penis is one of the marks of puberty, somehow the association between penis size and manhood is made. Unfortunately, men's magazine's frequently advertise penis enlargers which exploit male anxieties (and don't work, by the way!). There are still many myths floating around about the actual size of the penis, and about the relationship between penis size and performance/ability to please. For example, despite what might be portrayed in certain movies, in its unerect or unaroused state the penis is usually between 2-4 inches; in its erect state the penis is usually 5 to 7 inches in length. It's also important to know there is no relationship between the size of a man's penis and his ability to have sexual intercourse or to excite his partner. A larger penis will not make a woman have an orgasm any more than a smaller one will. Please recognize that the size of a man's penis seems to be more important in the locker room than in the bedroom.

A student from UNC wants to know.....

Does it matter whether or not I'm circumcized to a woman? Male,Sophomore

Dr. Caron's Answer: You raise a really good question. I think it'sfairly common for men to worry about the look of their penis -especially when it comes to circumcision. I read somewhere that about 80% of American males have a circumcised penis, whereas 80% of European males have an uncircumcised penis. So if you are uncircumsized, your partner might not be used to seeing a penis with the foreskin still intact. I do think it would be important to mention the difference and assure her of the normalcy of it all. Most women do not find things like penis shape or size to be an issue when it comes to the sexual interaction. It's important to know there is no relationship between circumcision of a man's penis and his ability to have sexual intercourse or to excite his partner. An uncircumcised penis will not make a woman have an orgasm any more than a circumcised one will.

Question from a student at the University of North Texas....

This is not directly about sex, but close enough. I have inverted nipples and am so nervous about other people will react to them when I begin to get sexually active. I know I should be "proud" of my body, which I am, but I feel so strange and different. I don't want guys to scream and run away. I heard there is a surgery that can fix them. Is this true and where can I get more information? Female, First Year

Dr. Caron's Answer: Despite what is presented in the media, inverted nipples are normal. Just as women's breasts come in all different shapes and sizes, their nipples do as well: they may be flat, raised, or inverted - all are common. I believe you are in a good position to educate your partner about how every body is unique - and that includes yours. Just like belly buttons, nipples also range in appearance. And I certainly hope your partner will be interested in having a relationship with you, not a body part!

If you are seriously interested in looking into surgery in an attempt to alter your nipples, there is plastic surgery. You can talk to a medical doctor (such as a gynecologist or someone who specializes in women's health) about this option. However, be forewarned: it is very expensive, often leads to loss of sensitivity and ability to become aroused, and can also interfere with your ability to breastfeed later on. Ask yourself: Is it really worth it? I hope you will recognize the gift your uniqueness and learn to accept and celebrate it.